


Alone in the middle of the world's end

by lesetoilesnemeurentjamais



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen, M/M, and I should probably add it is a bit angsty, and it's a translation of one of my own works :), and that I didn't define any relationship :p, feel free to understand what you want, it's just a very small story :), mentions of Rey/Leia/Han/Luke, that's why I tagged Gen and M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-27 00:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10797783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesetoilesnemeurentjamais/pseuds/lesetoilesnemeurentjamais
Summary: What is Kylo Ren thinking about while he’s abandoned in the snow after his defeat ?





	Alone in the middle of the world's end

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration always come at the wrong time. I wrote this a few weeks ago, in the middle of the night, fighting against sleep, just because I knew that I would have forgotten the next morning...  
> This is the translation - I wrote it in French first.
> 
> I want to thank [deluxekyluxtrashcan(rhoen)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/deluxekyluxtrashcan) a lot, for kindly having accepted to beta read and correct it ♥ And for having explained me how to link something using html!
> 
> It's just a very small story, but I hope you'll like it! (and if you read til the end, I'll explain you where I got the idea...)

Kylo was exhausted. Each of his muscles was hurting, and the landscape, bristled with black trees, was swirling around him. He had almost forgotten where he was, and why he was here. Somewhere deep inside him something was beating, roaring to escape. Vaguely, he felt it was important, and the muffled bangs in his mind were coming with a strange need to cry. It was distant anyway.

He focused on his opponent’s movements. They were quick, more and more precise. She had probably noticed his tiredness. With rage and suffering, Kylo brought down his blade. It encountered nothing but the air. With a quick gesture, Rey had dodged, and she lunged forward to attack once again. She was fast. Unstoppable.

There was a blue lightning, and Kylo closed his eyes. From outside, he saw himself exploding in thousands of glass fragments. Fragments with sharp, blood-tinged edges. Then came the pain, unbearable. It spread across his whole body with the power of a dying star.

Lost between his vision and the reality, Kylo heard the shards crashing on the floor while his body was shaken again. He guessed he had just fallen in his turn. A new wave of suffering submerged him, cutting his breath off. His body, already broken, signalled him he wouldn’t go further.

He did not see the earth opening, taking his enemy away before she could kill him. He did not hear the last rumbles of the base which was ready to collapse and to take him with it. Abandoned to the pain and the cold which was slowly spreading in his veins, Kylo lost consciousness of the world around him. He left the chaos on Starkiller to join the one ruling his own mind.

It was at this moment that the hurling beast in him chose to break free, clearing a passage with its claws and fangs. The Force made Kylo sense the distress of someone who had just lost a loved one, at the other end of the galaxy. The smiling face of his mother came to his mind. When was the last time he had seen her? A stream of memories passed behind his eyelids. There were old, long forgotten pictures of his childhood. There was a strange sweet feeling in them. A feeling he had deeply buried within him. The tenderness that only a mother can give to her child.

New images came to replace the ones involving his mother. Kylo remembered the endless holochess games with his father. He remembered the hyperspace travels with Han and his hairy friend Chewie, who had always been here to tell him his adventures.  And he remembered the first time he had settled on the pilot seat, aboard the Falcon. How Han’s eyes were full of pride.

Then the little boy had grew up. His joy of living had tarnished and slowly faded as the Dark Side was flourishing in him. Even Luke’s teaching had been useless, and Ben Solo had gradually turned into someone else. Someone stronger. Or at least it was what he had believed.

Helpless, Kylo saw the pride in his father’s eyes turning into stupor, incomprehension, and even sadness when he had understood it was too late. At the moment when the red blade had pierced his body, guided by his own son’s hand. And just before everything was done, just before eternally shutting down, his eyes had filled with hope. Hope and love.

Mentally, Kylo howled. He howled to lose his mind, offering his painful regrets to the world that didn’t care anyway. He howled for hours, forgotten in the middle of the world’s end. There was no more heat in him, neither hope, nor confidence. Every feeling was gone. He had no one anymore. He was no one anymore. And he was going to die here. Alone.

His eternity ended the moment he heard his name, at first faintly and then louder, through the darkness in which he was lying. Gathering his last forces, he came to the surface. Had someone really come back for him?

Ren.

He did not need to open his eyes to recognize his voice. He answered silently, full of gratitude.

Hux.

Just before slipping into unconsciousness, Kylo sensed something soft and warm covering him, and the smell of the General enveloping him. Then Hux lift him off of the ground. Nestled under the vast black coat, Kylo finally felt safe. And he let darkness claiming him.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! I hope you appreciated it! In any case, don't hesitate to let a small message, I don't bite I promise! You can also find me on [Tumblr](www.coeurd-art-ichaut.tumblr.com). And as I promised before, here is the explanation. The idea came while reading something on Tumblr (but I forget to note the reference :x ). It was written in Russian, and thanks to Google I managed to translate:
> 
> “I wonder what he was thinking about when he was alone on a dying planet with a hellish pain in his whole body and an absolute sense of his own impotence - was he sure he would not survive? Did he remember his father and mother (because it is obvious that he regrets what he did)? Has he lost faith in the Dark Side? I need to know this.”
> 
> There is my answer. And as I said in the tags, you are free to understand what you want ;) See you soon!


End file.
